Saturday, February 14, 2015

Leave your convictions at the door newbie ...and get with the program....

When I did the commercials, I was in big group scenes (250 and 100 Extras) so no one even looked at our faces, just what we were wearing.  The morning of my first TV Extra job, it was a whole different story.  I told Bob the night before in all my glorious strident self-righteousness (a beautiful thing really) that I was just going to show up looking like myself--which means no make up. I expounded to him that I would politely tell them I don't wear make up if they told me I had to. This is what I look like and TV should have representation of people like me.  I had a real conviction about it…..And a really CLUELESS understanding of who calls the shots on these matters.  Looking back, the only thing I can piece together as to why I would EVEN think I could tell anyone anything in their world is that for 20 plus years, I was in a fairly high level of oversight when working as a psychologist.  People did the things I told them, lots and lots of people did the things I told them.  I GUESS old habits die hard.  So funny to get perspective on this now. 

Well, honey, no one gives a SH#$%T what I think about these things in the land of TV filming.  I show up at 6:30am to the location at 14 Wall Street, report to wardrobe and it's a very long, interminably slow moving line because we had to bring 3 outfits and the wardrobe people were vetting them all very carefully and there were 60 of us. Plenty of time for hair and make up to make their way down the line and scrutinize each and every one of us.  The head make up woman is making her way down the line and I'm getting all ready for my declaration of "I am the people" and she just squints her eyes and asks if I read the notice for this job--it says come CAMERA READY.  I politely tell her that I am camera ready. I'm fine for the camera to film my face this way.  She says, CAMERA READY is “code word” for MAKE UP.   She is a very forceful presence.  She sternly tells me to NEVER show up on a set again without make up; explaining you never know if you are going to be placed right next to a principle actor and have your face blown up on the screen. She warns "Believe me, you don't want to be without make up."  She sends me to make up and the other woman who is going to make me up has been observing all of this.  She happens to be very sweet and says she'll keep it light, that I have good skin, and she can understand my reluctance to wear any, but yes, it is necessary.  Lesson learned..... strident self-righteous convictions roped in, tied down, stashed deep, key tossed.  Pretty much everyone knows way more than me in this world.  

As you might guess, I don't do anything with my hair either.  The most I ever do is use a blow dryer. So after make up, I get sent to hair and the hairdresser decides she wants my hair pulled back in a low pony tail.  She proceeds to flat iron it and use gel and hairspray to get my rather freedom loving hair under control. My hair has always had a mind of its own since I was a little girl.  Hair just sticks out wherever it wants to.  She tells me I have a lot of "fly aways." I tell her sometimes I just pull them out if they get too long and just stand straight out of my head.  She says "Oh, don't do that, those are your Gladiator hairs."  I loved her instantly for telling me that. Nary a Gladiator hair will ever be pulled out again.

The next day, I very obediently do a little research on line looking for make up products that are reasonably good quality and don't cost an arm and a leg. I find a brand called Bare Minerals that seems pretty organic. Promptly, I get myself to Macy's where I venture into a department I have never stepped foot in.  The make up department turns out to be aisles and aisles and aisles long with counter after counter after counter of make up products by different manufacturers.  I am, after all, in the largest department store in the world. It's all making me a little dizzy. I finally find the Bare Minerals counter and make up person and blurt out my complete ignorance of make up.  I show her the blush case and lipstick I've possessed for the last 10 years or longer.  She probably sees $$$$$ written all over me as we are talking because she knows I need to buy and use this stuff and essentially own nothing.  She proceeds to collect all kind of products to try out on me. In the meanwhile, I'm watching what appears to be a homeless African American man in the corner of the store slathering on this very light foundation from the available samples which makes him look white faced. It's so weird....no one is really stopping him or bothering him as he is just gobbing this stuff all over his face. I kind of like it that they let him go about his business. He then finishes and walks off to the perfume section of the store.  Maybe he's a regular there....

My cosmetic consultant proceeds to try to explain application and I tell her she needs to explain the process as if talking to a 4 year old.  She tries to make an analogy to having my nails done. I show her my nails--and tell her I have never had my nails done either.  She then uses house remodeling--priming a wall before painting. Bingo!......We have a common language.  $176 dollars later and a couple of freebies she’s dug up for me, probably from their clearance bin, I depart Macy’s with my face made up and no where to go.


I now have good mastery of the basics but have a very long way to go on the eye make up.  This is when wearing glasses works in my favor!

1 comment:

  1. We have a lot in common! No make up, don't mess with my hair. I tried that attitude when I was in the Amritapuri play two or three years ago. I didn't get anywhere with that either. I thought about playing the "My daughter is the director and I can do what I want" card but I didn't go there!

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